Hello again and I wish I could say happy spring, but I hesitate. I have every reason to hesitate. As you can see that was the temperature one morning (actually it was 41 but I had been struggling with the fire for about two hour at this time). So everyone is telling me that it is almost spring and I just can't seem to believe it. I have really good reasons. They are scientifically sound, and I can prove that spring is not on its way. We just had another six or ten inches of snow in the last forty-eight hours. This time the snow is so high that we don't have to step off the snow to make it up onto our little front porch. We can just step over. Our coolers are covered completely and now I am not sure I can reach any of our food in there because the snow is so high around them. As you can see I have plenty of evidence in terms of pictures. There is no way, none possible at all, that spring is actually real up here in the beautiful cold state of Vermont.
poor pup
When it was so cold in the house I ordered the kids to stay in bed for a while. This is what Logan told me. "I won't get up until it is 65 degrees." Usually people don't get up until it is certain time, but in our house it is degrees. Pretty funny, isn't it. And then there is the pup. Yes, he too has had enough of this winter. I had to cover him the other day again. He was shivering! Poor baby. So, you see there is no way that spring is real, not in my mind and not by what I can prove! Try to disprove that spring is not real up here. And yet....
Strawberry blossoms and fruit
I have a good idea in the deep down of my heart that spring is real and that it is only a matter of time that it will come around to us here up in the north. I mean the air does smell sweeter, it is a little warmer than it has been and the snow is melting. We, that is Tom, was playing with hydroponics . Tom wanted to see if plants could be grown in our basement during the winter. At first they didn't do anything. In fact only a
tomatoes
few of our plants popped up. But lately all the plants started growing like mad. Just yesterday I discovered that indeed we have strawberry blossoms coming up. I was so excited about that. So perhaps there is something about this spring thing anyway.
You got it, I am going to relate this to something spiritually. How often do we say that there is no way that a good God exists in this world and where is He anyway when so many bad things are happening around us? Who hasn't questioned the existence of God? I know I have. But I know that He exists. There is so much evidence that He does exist. There is spring, for instance. Everything is reborn, just like happens to us when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior. We are regenerated, turned into perfect creatures in His eyes. And then there is the fact that whenever I am going through something rough, He is right there with me, guiding me along, taking my hand and soothing my tears. My heart tells me, if I chose to listen to it, that God is real, because He has put a part of Himself into our hearts. And if I just take a moment to listen to that really, really, really quiet voice I may discover that He is indeed real and that He just needs to be given a chance to grow, just like our garden. We can't plant outside yet but as soon as that white stuff disappears, plants will go into our raised beds. So start gathering evidence that God exists. You will be amazed at what you missed!
So happy spring to everyone and open your heart to the possibilities of God, Who is out there.
Sean in his new "corner".
Or his new naughty chair.
Brotherly encouragement
For all those of you Treckies out there. I was one once. Not anymore but I just still get a kick out of Jean Luc Picard. It is the bald head. I stumbled upon this and I can't get enough of it. Too funny.
By now everyone will know how much snow we have gotten up here in VT. If you can believe it, this is a normal year for them. It reminds me actually of our first year up here building our shed. There was still a ton of snow in March when we started building it. To tell you the truth, I love it. I can't believe that I am saying this, but looking out there from the warmth of my living room, the heat pouring in through the vents, I love watching the pristine white covering. Logan and the boys were having such a great time out there when it was coming down a lot. The older two (and I include Tom as one of the boys) even went skiing when the snow was coming down pretty good. The story goes like this: Sean is missing skiing, a lot. So when the snow was coming down he couldn't help himself. He grabbed a backpack, his skis and boots (hence the backpack) and donned Logan's snow shoes. He then told me to call his cell for dinner. He needed to go ski in the powder. So he started hiking up the mountain. Ten minutes Tom got the urge to do something crazy, grabbed his father's old cross country skis and followed his oldest, up the mountain! (Last time I skied cross country, a big mistake, uphill was totally unachievable for me. I was ten) Logan was going to follow his father but once he fell into the snow a couple of times, he was out of energy! Mind you he really had to work to get himself out of the snow.
I had a similar experience shorty after, mind you another storm had showered its bounty on us by then. By then all the snow from the roof had come crashing down, and I mean crashing down, and caused the snow outside our door to be just about as high as our front steps. But we packed it down good. One night I needed to go outside and didn't bring a flashlight. Hey, the night before the moon was super bright. But not that night! It was pitch dark! I stepped off the beaten path into waist high snow! It took a lot of work to get out! I was laughing all the way, but pretty cold after.
Tom ordering tickets to Germany
Tom is off this week and as a result we now have oak beautiful went covers. And now he has a sinus infection. Hehehehe, here I come with my home remedies! He will not have that too long! I digress again. I don't know, maybe it is because I have to do ten things at the same time and can't focus on one thing anymore. Anybody with answers out there?
So, I love Vermont. I had a chance to take a drive this afternoon, and granted it was a beautiful day but this really is a beautiful state. I am so glad we are here. So that brings me to why I am writing. I have been thinking a lot these days. My prayers are more talking to God and sharing what is on my heart rather than presenting a list, nice and neat, and expecting with a count of three for the first three items on the list to be answered in 24 hours. I really felt that it was not my position right now to be dictating to the Lord of the universe, call me crazy! So here we are, almost 2 years in Vermont. We are actually settled. I was marveling at that the other day. There is a peace again in our house. There is not this crazy energy, this unsettled feeling. Don't get me wrong, we are far from finished, but we are settled. And now comes the craziest thing of all. What happens when I get settled? You guessed it, I need an adventure. Last time, I prayed for one and got more than I expected. This time I am thinking a little bit more in depth. I don't know why I need an adventure, constant change in my live. I know that when I am in the depth of craziness, of things falling apart around me, I dig my heels into Christ. I cling and scrape my way back to the top. But, that is not the way we are supposed to live. It is in the little things we are supposed to live our live for Christ. The fact that I am recognizing this, is a really good thing. I can now share this with my Lord and He can show me another way, His way. It is in the little things and the ordinary things we are living for Him. I have such trouble with that. I feel really bad, but I am not feeling Christ looking over my shoulder when I am scrubbing my pots and pans. But that is really where He is. He is right there beside me as I sweep my floor. And he smiles when I sit down with Logan to teach him Christ's ways, and even math. And it is in those every day things that I can find my security in Him, not in the adventure.
Natasha digging for
the trash can. She found it!
I hope you have a wonderful week. In everything give glory to Him.
For all you Frozen fans this is totally hilarious. Nichole sent it to me on facebook and I just can't help sharing it. That is about what it has been like here in VT the last couple of weeks. A quick update, Tom is back at work and feeling better. This morning our neighbor tried to make it up his driveway and had to take four attempts, it was so icy. Seriously have a good laugh at this one. I keep having to watch it.
Hello everyone. I am sorry I have been a little negligent on the blogging front. It has been an exciting couple of weeks since Christmas. I do want to wish everyone a belated Happy New Year. Our New Year started with a new baby. No, no, not me (thankfully). My sister and bro-in law had their beautiful daughter on New Years day. How absolutely perfect and I was so excited for them. Labor went well and the baby is absolutely perfect. She is soooo cute. Enough of that. You see, I have jumped ahead again. All right, grab an ice pick to pry your fingers off the keyboard if you live here in New England. If not, have a cup of something warm on me!
Toby and Logan, very cute
My parents made their way up to us in the north before Christmas. We were able to show the sights around here a little bit. My mother does not like to travel around much anymore. They were able to come to church with us through and watched Logan in his yearly debut of one of the shepherds in the nativity story. It was very cute.
They also got to hear their daughter's debut as accompaniment to one of the singers. I just found my old recorder and thought my mother would appreciate if I joined. So I did. It was pretty fun.
Mother and daughter
Where are we on the page?
We got to spend some nice time with my parents up here in VT and drove to NY to spend Christmas with my sister and her husband. We were waiting for my sister to go into labor, but it didn't happen.
We definitely encouraged her (walking stairs, stress, cooking, squatting down to pick things up) but, baby Sydney arrived pretty much on time. We were probably the last ones to know that Eiki was in labor on New Year's day. Sydney Christine was born at 3 PM I think. I was able to go down at the beginning of the month and was so enchanted by the little package. Boy, she really is cute. She has both mom and dad wrapped around her little fingers already. My sister is a great mom. It was really great to see how she is around the baby and she is a natural. She takes it all in strides. I spent a couple of days with them, spending time with my mother as well while my dad was visiting a friend in Tennessee. It was good to get back home and the first night, my kids entertained me by scaring each other, after we were trying to get to sleep. Guess who instigated it? Yup, you guessed correctly (SEAN).
Since then, we have had to adjust to a new kind of normal. Tom has been able to drive for the school bus company. There was a problem with trying to hire him, the paperwork wouldn't go through and all that jazz. Well, he started on a Friday without knowing it. He just kind of got thrown in the deep end, but he managed not to come home with any extra kids. We are thankful for that. He has been driving the basketball teams to all their games. It was nice because he ran into our realestate agent, who sold us the land. We hadn't seen him since we bought the land. He is also a Christian. They got to catch up with each other.
Tom did not get his bus stuck!
Logan and his game
So now instead of all of us being home at night, we have to adjust again to a totally crazy schedule of people working at night. I try to stay busy while Tom works and when both the T's work I try to stay in town. Some days we watch a movie on Tasha's lap top or I work on something. So today is another one of those days so Logan and I are staying in town. It is nice to have some Logan and mom time.
So the rest of the family is doing really great. Sean is working a lot. He is working with another fellow out of NH twice a week and working with his old boss three days. He is happy for the opportunity to see another farrier work and get acquainted with more people. His business is doing not too bad. I think he has about 30 horses. Not too shabby. It takes a while to build up a clientele and to get your name out there and we all know how peculiar horse people are. Oh, you didn't know that? They are, just I am normal (hello, of course; that goes without saying). Talking to a friend who is a vet confirms that Sean is indeed in the right business. He is getting a reputation of being really good with difficult horses or not so difficult horses. Gee, not patting myself on the back, but where did he get that from?
At a wedding taken by Katy
Charlton (via facebook)
Natasha is a continual blessing to both Tom and I. Her wisdom and love is great for us to see. She is pursuing a new job, which is more up her alley than working in a pizza place (which she loves!). Our dear friend Kathy suggested she check out a possible opening at the co-op. She dropped off her resume, felt really good about it, and is waiting to see. Prayers would be appreciated for wisdom and guidance.
That brings me to the last but most important part of my blog. ME! I had a chance to talk to my sister-in-law Nichole yesterday and the question came up how I was doing spiritually. I was not so sure what to answer. In fact this is the first blog where I really didn't have anything to share with y'all spiritually. So thanks Nichole. I now got something! Hold on to your seats!!!!!! Here it comes: You can't "escape" God! That is it. Have a good day.
Christmas eve
What!!!! Don't leave us hanging here (this is what you are thinking all right, so go with it just to humor me and make it more interesting). All right, I will humor you. A couple of days ago we were at a friend's house playing Romey Cube, which is a blast. ( Mami you should try it.) As we were sitting there I just felt a little sad. I now was responsible to building up a new friendship and to be transparent with my new friends. Argh, that is so much work and all I want to do is have someone whom I'm familiar with and just to be comfortable with them. So, basically I miss you guys in CT a lot! That is not to say that I am not meeting and having blessings with new friends here in VT, and to my new friends I have to say, hold on to your seats. You are in for the ride of your life. This went into this thinking on my part. God put us here, I have no doubt whatsoever. But I have also brought my luggage with me from CT. Just because I am living without much worldly things, I still have things that date back to CT that God has to reveal in me or that I have to come to Him with. Believe you me He is working overtime on me. I love that.
But I am rambling on. Sorry, told you this was not going to be my normal, organized straight to the point blog (Here you look at yourself in the monitor and shake your head, saying she has lost it. The cold is getting to her brain). So just because I live in the sticks in VT doesn't mean I didn't bring my stuff with me. And the "closets" of my heart were kind of full of junk. God has cleaned out so much of that junk and He can now see the floor. I like that a lot. The point I am so eloquently trying to make is if you are trying to hide from God, ha! Sorry, I meant HA! Oops, no that is not loving. Emmm, hehehehe? Are we getting the picture of who this God really is? I just plugged into a wonderful study on the fundamentals of Christianity. Very nice so far and I am enjoying meeting with wonderful people (getting out there again). He is here, there and everywhere from before the beginning to beyond the end of time. He will not stop existing! He existed before time! He knows you before you were even a tiny speck in your mother's womb. He knows what is in your heart. He already sees you at the end of your life. To Him life is like a blade of grass. And He loves you, me and myself! He took His right arm and send Him to be Emanuel, God with us! God with us! That should give us pause as to how much we curse the driver in front of us, because "big brother is watching". But this big brother wants us to come to Him so He can sooth our wounds, our fears and worries, if we let Him.
To recap, I am finding that no matter where I go, God is with me! I am so glad about that! Could you imagine me going off to VT or to make new friends by myself? Yikes, I have made some messes of that in the past! But God is with me when I step out of my very comfortable circle of me, myself, and I to reach out to others. God is with me when I am having a bad day because our pipes are frozen (got you, we don't got no pipes hehehehe). God soothes me when I just can't deal with having to do dishes again or when the school day just drags on. He dries off my tears when my day is really bad. As long as I allow Him open access to me, no matter what is up.
"I need a friend to lean on"
Katy Charlton and from facebook
I think I have said it all. I hope this is not just thought provoking but also convicting. We have but one life to give.
Hope the weather where you are is cooperating. The kids and I are off to NY next week. I haven't seen my niece in a month and my brother in law is going out of town. So I thought I would keep my sister company (she has running water!).
Have a wonderful remaining day. I went outside today (it is a balmy 27 degrees outside) and heard more and more bird callings. Spring is on its way! Yehaa, bring it on!
I wish all of you, my friends, a wonderful Christmas holiday season. A lot of things are happening here and it is time to share. It seems that the summer was spend mostly in our garden. We did little things with the house, that made our life a little more easy. Recently we have had the pleasure to really get to know some of our neighbors (we are in the boonies and I count neighbors anybody who lives in a 5 mile radius). We have had the pleasure to spend Sundays with the owners of dear Bessy (the cow) and their 2 kids. We have a little bible study and share a meal. My kids were really excited because we did pizza the first time. We haven't had home made pizza in a really long time. Then we have our wonderful librarian neighbor (no more library late fees for me, people. I am on time for now........). We have spend many nights playing games (Pictionary), or just talking. She usually brings cookies or goodies. She knows the kids well. It has been wonderful just to get to know people. There are several people from our church we have been hanging out with too. One of my church friends let me bake cookies in her house. It smelled so good. And of course some of the cookies stayed at her house for a moment.
We spent a lovely Thanksgiving with Mom and Dad Perreault. I didn't have to cook, although I thought a traditional Thanksgiving with the turkey roasting on the spit would have been kind of fun. But we didn't opt for it. Instead they came up for the afternoon and we ate at a very nice place right off the highway. The food was quite plentiful and everyone came home, well actually we rolled home, and Tom had to loosen his belt (for about 15 minutes only, you can picture Tom!). It was a really nice time and we so appreciated it. Logan was feeling a little under the weather but he has rebounded since then.
I was also able to bake 3 apple pies (thanks to my friend Sandy) and we had one on Sean's birthday (whip cream was included. A drill works really well to whip the cream if you can't find your mixer). Those pies were yummmmmmmy!!!!! Anyway, I need to move on, time is running on. We got to see my beautiful sister. She looks great and I can't wait to see my little niece. We spent a day with them at my friend Sarah's house in NH, who had a crib and other baby stuff for them. They left with a very stuffed car (sorry, George, SUV).
Before
Progress!
On the house front we are now back in operating order. We were without power (generator) for a couple of months. Talk about cozy at night, when we gather (that is a good words for it) together beside the gas lamp! It has not been as challenging as I thought. The generator needed a new muffler and so it took a while to order it. And of course, since the generator was my birthday present three years ago, the boys thought it would be fitting to get me the muffler for my birthday this year. Yes, I was touched! DEEPLY! I think there was some moisture running out of my eyes, but that may have just been a figment of my imagination. And since the generator is working again, Tom has been working on the steps, another birthday present. I know, you are all jealous. Don't be.
Yes I am helping
We just passed the month of birthdays. It seems that November is our month. My mother-in-law is first followed by me, and then a week later my mother. Sean is the last in this family. We also have a number of friends who picked the coolest month to be born in. And to top it of, our month is followed by Christmas. What can be more cool? I love this time of year!
Growing up, I always waited for the perfect day. My parents made
He is a brave one!
my birthday pretty special. I usually would have friends and family around and it would be a very happy, merry time. But yet, it was not perfect. Something big would always happen and would leave me feeling like the day was less than perfect. Be sure to note, that this feeling was not because people didn't meet my expectations. They didn't, they couldn't! My expectations were so high, no one could meet them. And I would feel like the day would end with less than spectacular bang. When I left home to attend boarding school, I was hit like a ton of bricks when my birthday came around. Suddenly I was left in a foreign country without my family, who always made sure they called and wished me well, but again I was sunk! No perfect day and what was worse, a total feeling of being unworthy, unloved by friends. That carried over to my married life. Weeks before my birthday I would be steeped deep in depression. Nothing my hubby did would cause me to feel loved, special. If the present wasn't good enough, I would be left with a deep sense of as;ldjfwoier, if you know what I mean. If Tom didn't manage to come home on time, soeiurwoenos again. My expectations were so high, my poor husband eventually threw up his arms and gave up trying. I would mope for days, if not weeks.
And soon after that came Christmas. Y'all know I am German, and the Germans know how to do Christmas! We pull out all the stops! And if you have been privy to one of our (Klemp) Christmases, you will testify to the fact that it is a big deal! I mean, it is always a big deal but we do it up! As a kid I remember learning my Christmas poem to be recited on Christmas Eve to Father Christmas, who just happened to stop by our house. The day before would be spent in anticipation, since the door to the living room was locked and entry was forbidden. I mean the rule was so strict that Eiki and I didn't dare to steal into the room after dark. I have to speculate now, but I think Tom and his brothers would have found a way in and they would have opened all the presents before, just because it was a challenge. But I digress. So when the door would finally open Christmas Eve and our eyes would behold the sparkling, perfect Christmas tree piled high with presents, it was close to a perfect day. When I mean perfect Christmas tree it usually was. My grandmother would take pains to decorate the thing perfectly and I mean perfect. No, we never had a "fake" tree. When Tom tried to sneak in a "fake' tree one time, just ask our neighbors John and Kelly what happened to it. For years they thought there was something really wrong with us. But all the time I was left with a sadness, a sense of missing something big. Again that beautiful day was left imperfect, a feeling of disappointment in the center of my being.
And then the perfect thing happened to me! It wasn't in form of a day, but it was in form of what happened in my heart. Nobody could meet my expectations except for one person. My Lord entered in and started cleaning house. He gave me a new desire, a new heart. For a while, I tried to control my sadness and my disappointment at the lack of obvious love from my family when the day didn't go well or when a little thing happened. But boy, I would still be messed up for weeks. But I would mask it so that it had nothing to do with my disappointment of the perfect day. And then the work was being done in my heart and I had to come to the point of deciding whether I could give up that one perfect day. Could I surrender that expectation to the Lord or would I hold on to my hurt feelings and my sky high expectations. One day, I let go of them. Some people might look at me and ask how I could possibly be fine with receiving a generator muffler for my birthday. You should have seen me when I "opened" the generator. I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face (not tears of sadness). I think I even made a little speech.
In the recent months God has shown me about perfect love. That perfect love is not my love for someone or something. It can't be. I can't love enough on my own not to have fear or any other emotions. These emotions are there. We don't live in a vacuum. What do I do when I feel forgiveness, fear, anger, disappointment, sadness, pain? Do I dwell in them, let them sit there and make them ruin my day, my marriage, my life? I have allowed those feelings to dictate to me long enough. People will tell you just move on. Right!!! You do it! See where that leads you. Or this is a good one: Time will heal all wounds! HA! NOT! Try it. It doesn't hold. For a time being you may be able to deal with the fear, the disappointment, the anger. But after a while it does come back. Then what? I have found that if I choose to hold on to my "bad" feelings, well, you know what happens. But if there is a problem and all of a sudden I don't let that feeling dictate my reaction, that is a different outcome. If I have given my Lord permission to be Lord over my feeling, I soon have victory.
The other day I was feeling very put out with one of my children. Instead of dwelling on that feeling, and I was totally in the right believe you me, I turned to my Lord and asked Him to take that nasty feeling from me and replace it with His love for that child (OK, my kids are children anymore). Do you know what happened? That child (sorry) came to me and I think it recognized its mistake. But rather than dwell on my hurt feelings, we were able to laugh and talk in a way that if I had held on to that feeling I would have been stewing in it for hours, making that child's life miserable.
Tom and I were having a conversation by our nice furnace to keep warm, and he said something that stung! He was just pointing something out to me that really was minor, but I took it the wrong way. But I realized the moment my hurt feelings started to surface that I had a choice. I could be miserable all day, and blame Tom for hurting my feelings, or I could allow someone with much broader shoulders to carry my hurt. I could release Tom from the responsibility of causing my hurt. I could free him to be my husband, no matter what he said to me. I was not going to let little words come between him and me! You know what, we had a wonderful day! I didn't hold on to my hurt, but let that perfect love, the love that gives (For God so loved the world He GAVE....). We ought to do the same. We ought to give. That is setting me free and it is setting everyone in my family free too.
I would love to challenge you in this season of celebration and looking for the perfect day. If you find yourself feeling a little unsatisfied with the rushing around and the preparation, your spouse who doesn't appreciate your efforts to make the season special, or doesn't appreciate you period; try this (and I mean it): talk to God about it. And wait what will happen. I can guarantee you an outcome better than the weathermen. Your feeling of hurt, pain, justified forgiveness, whatever it was you were struggling with, will go away and will be replaced with a feeling of peace, if you are willing to let it go and give it to God.
He came to this earth, whether we believe it or not. He still came and He also died, whether we believe it or not. He didn't stay dead.... HE rose (whether we believe it or not)! With that He made it so that I can now go to Him and cast (that means chose to let go) off my stuff that I am holding on to. It means I can have a perfect day! Yes, I can have it! Finally it is possible. It will cost me to decide to allow Him to take that stuff. But I can have a perfect day through Christ, if I allow Him to lead me step by step, and guard my heart and give Him the feelings I know will cause me to separate myself from Him or from my fellow humans.
Chet is so comfi in his new bed!
Merry Christmas. Think about why we have this wonderful season. Take time and examine yourself and take me up on this challenge, if you would. My family and I will be spending a perfect day with my sister, her husband, my parents and who know maybe a new niece (hopefully not yet, she is not due until the end of the month). Have a perfect day.
Hello my dear friends. I really don't have any new pictures to share or anything really exciting going on. As usual, school is going on. That is my biggest concern at the present. We have been blessed with a lot of new friends, who are just adding to our lives up here and enriching us as a family. It is so nice that we have not just been put up here to exist. It is such a blessing to be able to enrich others lives because at the same time, we are being blessed. So that is where we are pretty much. We still spend a lot of time at the library. Tom is slowly being taught to drive a bus. Monday he is going to have a "long" day and drive to Rutland, an hour away, to train on railroad crossings. So funny. He rode with another driver the other day and got to check out a route. We are anxiously waiting for him to get his license so he can get a route. The kids are doing well. Tasha still loves her work and Sean is doing well. I am enjoying my new friends (I haven't forgotten my old ones though).
I don't want to take up more of your time because I would really like you to sit back and look at this video. It is an amazing story about an illusionist, who went through something amazing. I hope you take the time, it is 10 minutes long. His story will hopefully blow you away, as it did me. I have to share it.
More of Him, less of me.
Have a wonderful day. Logan are here "in town" (Springfield) to run some errands, wait for Tasha to be done with work and just enjoy some time together. Right now that includes the computer. Oh, well.
Shocking, yes another blog so close to the other. I apologize but when I have a really good topic, I like to share what I think. Because we all know, what I think is very important. All kidding aside, my young adults came home from "youth group" the other day. It is a group of people who come together and hang out once a week and share a meal. Very nice and I love going and hanging out with my good friend Ruth Ann and the young people (yes we are also young). I found this challenge to them the next day. They were asked to describe in 100 words who they were before they came to Christ, what led them to Christ, and who they are now because of Christ. So, and this is how incredibly different my two young offspring are, Sean had a ready answer. He is a young man of little words and it is always a challenge for him to use as little words as he can (much to the chagrin of his teacher and his boss at Winding Trails). So his answer was "I am a Christian". Yeah, I know! I really can't do anything about this anymore. Believe me I have tried and failed! Miserably! But that is quite all right, I have a daughter. She set out the next day to describe this and she used some of Sean's words. Tom proceeded to "use up" the rest of Sean's words. Very funny. So I got the idea: this will be a nice blog. Ha, so here we are. You are not getting away that easy, since I will use more than 100 words (possibly, quite possibly). This is a total tangent but I was just reading (yes, Tom was working hard next to me while I was reading) a book about the war of 1812, a very stupid war. What struck me was the wealth of words the people used back then. The English language was so beautiful. Now we use words like yeah, and nope. Ugh! End of tangent back to what I want to say. You comfy? Cozy? (See, what kind of word is comfy I ask you). I should say: please, my dear friends, take a very comfortable position upon your seat and have a sip of your tea. (Better!)
Who was I before Christ? I was a little girl in a pretty dark place. I had fear, anger, disappointment, pride, and other junk in my heart. At times that was all I could focus on and the fear was the most dominant of the three. I wanted nothing more to be free of these but I didn't know how to get rid of them. So I found a way. I would become the most funny, happy person I could possibly become. I would make being happy my god. I would make jokes and pretend I was doing just great. It worked like a charm, but on the inside, there was still that horrible, ever encompassing fear, anger and disappointment. It crept into all my relationships. On the outside was this happy go lucky person. (I have reached my 100 words, sorry, keep on reading). My insides were lonely and dead. Fear was my constant companion. And a healthy dose of self condemnation went along with it. Ohh yes, I was good at putting myself down. If I put myself down, others couldn't do it for me. I lived these two identities. The outside, happy go lucky and the dark side of me (Luke, join the dark side, we have cookies).
My parents never forced any "religious" activity upon me and for that I am so thankful. I was a pretty young girl when God introduced Himself to my heart. At night I would cling to Him when I just didn't like the way my life was turning out to be (whose life is perfect at age 9?). But He never mentioned His Son. It was a long time until I met Him. I was about 42 years old when He finally introduced Himself personally. At this point I had again spent some time with the Father and was looking into this relationship thing. I was again striving to get to know the Son through my own intelligence, my own viewpoint. I was "working" so hard to find this Christ, the living God. I knew I was a better person for knowing Him. Already He was working in my heart and the first thing we cleaned out was my atrocious language. I was swearing like a sailor (hey, I was a sailor's daughter and proud of it). The fear and self doubt had lodged itself really good, though. I was doing everything I could to be a "good Christian". Again, the outward picture was me going to church and having kids who were "good Christians". At that point we had left our first church, much to my distress, and we were going with my wonderful friend Donna to her church. Tom had just left for Iraq and so I was dealing with that when one night I had just had it. I was in my room, totally exhausted. I could not keep up with all the demands of a "religious" life. I could not keep the fear out, the tongue (don't even get me started with that), and my thoughts.... atrocious! I was so angry at God for taking Tom away from me for a time being, and making me exactly what I had worked so hard never to be; a single parent. I was spinning my wheels so fast I couldn't keep up with myself and I had had it. What in the world did God want from me? I couldn't even keep a single day (the Sabbath) separated for God! It took too much energy and effort. So I was pouring out this stuff to God in my room. I remember it to this day and I hope I will never forget what happened. I had been reading a wonderful book by Stacy Eldridge and her husband. So my heart was open to where Christ wanted me. He was able to make contact with me. It wasn't a booming voice in my room. The house didn't shake. There was a presence in my room, and in my heart. A voice, very gently voice, told me that I was looking for answers in the wrong places. It wasn't about observing one day, it wasn't about making the right outward decisions and looking good. It was all about Christ. He was my Sabbath, He was my husband, the father for my children, the one I was to seek, the one who would take care of me in the storm of life. An incredible peace came to me. I felt like I could let go and allow someone else to take the reins of my life. It was a very comforting thought.
Who am I now because of Christ? I am a new creation, a better person, and free person. Not because of the things I have done, but because I have someone doing these things for me. If I were to take ahold of a situation and try to manipulate things the way I want them to go, we would have a disaster. If I let go, and allow the one who created me to deal with the situation, we have success. He has taken my fear, my self doubt and turned it into something like joy, peace, long suffering. There are moments when I take the reins out of His hands and we have fear, doubt..... same old same old. These moments are far and between these days. I am a whole person with Him. Apart from Him, I am my bad old self. Happy on the outside, fearful, prideful, self doubting on the inside. I don't know about you, I prefer the new me. Because of Christ I now have real joy. I have felt that love, contentment spill out of me and overflow me so that I can't help but being happy. It doesn't take work on my part. It takes Christ's hand on my life, and my willingness to let Him lead me. I am part of His bride, and I am called His beloved. And that is why I know there is a God, and a Savior.
It seems ages since my last blog. Life, as we know it, must go on. It has been a wonderful fall. The weather has been so beautiful. Foliage is gorgeous. Natasha and Tom drove around today and she took pictures. I love this picture. It kind of tells it all. We have been so blessed with all kinds of visitors. It was wonderful to have our friends Lisa and Scott come up and camp in their camper. I crack up about that. Then my in-law and Tom's uncle and wife came up for a visit. That was really nice. Doug, Tom's youngest brother, and his family came up and we had a nice time seeing the eagles. I don't know if they are still there (the eagles, Doug and family are back in CT). Then my friend Luiza and her hubby made the long trip up and we spend a wonderful afternoon together.
Three Octobers ago, we bought the property. A year ago we were just about to move into the barely liveable house (if you can call it that). I am so amazed about what has been done in a year. Yes, there is a ton of work to do and the house is not finished (by a mile). But our living conditions are so far improved it is such a far cry from last October. I remember we were just putting up insulation last October, still waiting for the windows to come in. Ugh, to think we moved into the house when we still had boards down and they were moving all around us. Things have changed, for sure. We just procured a vanity for the bathroom
Happy third anniversary.
Yes more counters!
through our friends Scott and Lisa. This is now our newest counter in our kitchen. Luxury!! We have now discovered that we indeed like having a sink where we can look out the window. Of course, these sinks don't work, yet. Still working on it! Sean started arranging his room upstairs, kind of like Natasha did, so he has some room to work on his paperwork. Logan is still spread out upstairs with Legos everywhere!
School is also going quite satisfactory, I think. We are actually able to sit down and work in the house. We are not cramped in the shed or trying to make our way over moving floor to a place to sit. We are also getting together once a week with another family and doing science experiments/fun. The kids do their stuff and then run around after, while us mothers visit and pray for each other's families. How cool is that?
Misty
On my front, all is well. I still get to see my cow friend Betsy (or I think it's Bessy) every other day. I'm not sure if I shared this bit of info with you but we have become quite tight. Every time I get there, she moos for me to come and scratch her neck. I am not kidding you. I have shared this with my parents and they had a really good laugh about it. I laugh every time she comes and moos when I'm there. And it is rather loud. If she is at the other end of the pasture, she has been known to run up to the gate to get her scratching. It cracks me up. Anyway, there is another animal making itself known in my life. Her name is Misty, and she is one of the horses we cared for early in the summer, if you recall. She is rather a little difficult (hehe, yes, difficult) and my friend Heidi asked if I could ride her once in a while. Well, apparently Misty really had a good time being fussed over by me. Those who know me, know that I like difficult horses (a lot!). So I get to go and play with a crabby mare and tell her that she better be nice. I used to tell my horse, Thunder, that every time he put his ears back. And he got the message. It was so funny because I was doing that with Misty. She didn't get the memo yet, but she will. So I get to ride her while the weather is nice. Tomorrow (Friday) is another day for riding. So that is quite pleasurable. After Heidi and I ride, there is another chance to pray for each other and our families. So double blessings.
Tom is going ahead with his bus driving training. It is going quite slowly. But he got to drive a bus the other day and not crash it. He had a good time. He also applied at the local Shaws supermarket. They were hiring, and he thought it might give him more choices. We will see what happens with that. Sean is getting quite busy with his own clients. He has had the chance
to be the farrier at a horse show up in Woodstock. He has gotten quite a
few clients and is trying to juggle them and working for his boss
still. At times there are conflicts and his business has to come
first. He has clients that are now regularly calling on him to come and
service their horses. He just came back from a job where the horse had broken its coffin bone, so they were shoeing the horse to heal that injury. I guess the client is very happy and so is the vet.
The hoof
I am pretty glad he is doing a great job. But then again, he had a really good example to follow when working with horses. Yes, you guessed it: me! But I jest, I really do. Natasha is enjoying her work and she mostly works at night. She is taking courses on line and has recently started Chemistry. To my huge, and I mean huge, surprise, she loves it! Who would have thunk it? Not me! So she is doing that on line and she is taking a photography class (hence the really nice pictures here) and something else and her Herbal Remedies class, which is very challenging. She has to get the biochemistry of her elements she is dealing with. This she is doing on her own, without anyone standing over her shoulder explaining things to her. Sometimes she comes to me in frustration and asks me a question, which I, in tern, force back onto her (mostly because I can't remember my biochemistry stuff that well anymore. It has been 20 years after all). Logan, as I said, is doing well and is making friends and having a great time with them. I am glad.
We are well prepared for winter. Tom stacked 7 cords of wood this year. We helped here and there but it was mostly him and himself. They had a good time together. Sean and Tom were out there the other day, tossing the cut up logs, seeing who could throw them furthest. It was a little too much testosterone for me and I stayed out of it. Logan did join in the fun at some point. Guys!!! Tasha and I were busy reading out books. That is the civilized thing to do.
Hello again and I wish I could say happy spring, but I hesitate. I have every reason to hesitate. As you can see that was the temperature one morning (actually it was 41 but I had been struggling with the fire for about two hour at this time). So everyone is telling me that it is almost spring and I just can't seem to believe it. I have really good reasons. They are scientifically sound, and I can prove that spring is not on its way. We just had another six or ten inches of snow in the last forty-eight hours. This time the snow is so high that we don't have to step off the snow to make it up onto our little front porch. We can just step over. Our coolers are covered completely and now I am not sure I can reach any of our food in there because the snow is so high around them. As you can see I have plenty of evidence in terms of pictures. There is no way, none possible at all, that spring is actually real up here in the beautiful cold state of Vermont.
When it was so cold in the house I ordered the kids to stay in bed for a while. This is what Logan told me. "I won't get up until it is 65 degrees." Usually people don't get up until it is certain time, but in our house it is degrees. Pretty funny, isn't it. And then there is the pup. Yes, he too has had enough of this winter. I had to cover him the other day again. He was shivering! Poor baby. So, you see there is no way that spring is real, not in my mind and not by what I can prove! Try to disprove that spring is not real up here. And yet....
