The perfect day

I am thiiiis strong

I wish all of you, my friends, a wonderful Christmas holiday season.  A lot of things are happening here and it is time to share.  It seems that the summer was spend mostly in our garden.  We did little things with the house, that made our life a little more easy.  Recently we have had the pleasure to really get to know some of our neighbors (we are in the boonies and I count neighbors anybody who lives in a 5 mile radius).  We have had the pleasure to spend Sundays with the owners of dear Bessy (the cow) and their 2 kids.  We have a little bible study and share a meal.  My kids were really excited because we did pizza the first time.  We haven't had home made pizza in a really long time.  Then we have our wonderful librarian neighbor (no more library late fees for me, people.  I am on time for now........).  We have spend many nights playing games (Pictionary), or just talking.  She usually brings cookies or goodies.  She knows the kids well.  It has been wonderful just to get to know people.  There are several people from our church we have been hanging out with too.  One of my church friends let me bake cookies in her house.  It smelled so good.  And of course some of the cookies stayed at her house for a moment.


We spent a lovely Thanksgiving with Mom and Dad Perreault.  I didn't have to cook, although I thought a traditional Thanksgiving with the turkey roasting on the spit would have been kind of fun.  But we didn't opt for it.  Instead they came up for the afternoon and we ate at a very nice place right off the highway.  The food was quite plentiful and everyone came home, well actually we rolled home, and Tom had to loosen his belt (for about 15 minutes only, you can picture Tom!).  It was a really nice time and we so appreciated it.  Logan was feeling a little under the weather but he has rebounded since then.

 I was also able to bake 3 apple pies (thanks to my friend Sandy) and we had one on Sean's birthday (whip cream was included.  A drill works really well to whip the cream if you can't find your mixer).  Those pies were yummmmmmmy!!!!!  Anyway, I need to move on, time is running on.  We got to see my beautiful sister.  She looks great and I can't wait to see my little niece.  We spent a day with them at my friend Sarah's house in NH, who had a crib and other baby stuff for them.  They left with a very stuffed car (sorry, George, SUV). 

Before

Progress!

On the house front we are now back in operating order.  We were without power (generator) for a couple of months.  Talk about cozy at night, when we gather (that is a good words for it) together beside the gas lamp!  It has not been as challenging as I thought.  The generator needed a new muffler and so it took a while to order it.  And of course, since the generator was my birthday present three years ago, the boys thought it would be fitting to get me the muffler for my birthday this year.  Yes, I was touched!  DEEPLY!  I think there was some moisture running out of my eyes, but that may have just been a figment of my imagination.  And since the generator is working again, Tom has been working on the steps, another birthday present.  I know, you are all jealous.  Don't be.

Yes I am helping

                                                     We just passed the month of birthdays.
It seems that November is our month.  My mother-in-law is first followed by me, and then a week later my mother.  Sean is the last in this family.  We also have a number of friends who picked the coolest month to be born in.  And to top it of, our month is followed by Christmas.  What can be more cool?  I love this time of year! 

 Growing up, I always waited for the perfect day.  My parents made

He is a brave one!

 my birthday pretty special.  I usually would have friends and family around and it would be a very happy, merry time.  But yet, it was not perfect.  Something big would always happen and would leave me feeling like the day was less than perfect.  Be sure to note, that this feeling was not because people didn't meet my expectations.  They didn't, they couldn't!  My expectations were so high, no one could meet them.  And I would feel like the day would end with less than spectacular bang. When I left home to attend boarding school, I was hit like a ton of bricks when my birthday came around.  Suddenly I was left in a foreign country without my family, who always made sure they called and wished me well, but again I was sunk!  No perfect day and what was worse, a total feeling of being unworthy, unloved by friends.  That carried over to my married life.  Weeks before my birthday I would be steeped deep in depression.  Nothing my hubby did would cause me to feel loved, special.  If the present wasn't good enough, I would be left with a deep sense of as;ldjfwoier, if you know what I mean.  If Tom didn't manage to come home on time, soeiurwoenos again.  My expectations were so high, my poor husband eventually threw up his arms and gave up trying.  I would mope for days, if not weeks. 

And soon after that came Christmas.  Y'all know I am German, and the Germans know how to do Christmas!  We pull out all the stops!  And if you have been privy to one of our (Klemp) Christmases, you will testify to the fact that it is a big deal!  I mean, it is always a big deal but we do it up!  As a kid I remember learning my Christmas poem to be recited on Christmas Eve to Father Christmas, who just happened to stop by our house.  The day before would be spent in anticipation, since the door to the living room was locked and entry was forbidden.  I mean the rule was so strict that Eiki and I didn't dare to steal into the room after dark.  I have to speculate now, but I think Tom and his brothers would have found a way in and they would have opened all the presents before, just because it was a challenge.  But I digress.  So when the door would finally open Christmas Eve and our eyes would behold the sparkling, perfect Christmas tree piled high with presents, it was close to a perfect day.  When I mean perfect Christmas tree it usually was.  My grandmother would take pains to decorate the thing perfectly and I mean perfect.  No, we never had a "fake" tree.  When Tom tried to sneak in a "fake' tree one time, just ask our neighbors John and Kelly what happened to it.  For years they thought there was something really wrong with us.  But all the time I was left with a sadness, a sense of missing something big.  Again that beautiful day was left imperfect, a feeling of disappointment in the center of my being.

And then the perfect thing happened to me!  It wasn't in form of a day, but it was in form of what happened in my heart.  Nobody could meet my expectations except for one person.  My Lord entered in and started cleaning house.  He gave me a new desire, a new heart.  For a while, I tried to control my sadness and my disappointment at the lack of obvious love from my family when the day didn't go well or when a little thing happened.  But boy, I would still be messed up for weeks.  But I would mask it so that it had nothing to do with my disappointment of the perfect day.  And then the work was being done in my heart and I had to come to the point of deciding whether I could give up that one perfect day.  Could I surrender that expectation to the Lord or would I hold on to my hurt feelings and my sky high expectations.  One day, I let go of them.  Some people might look at me and ask how I could possibly be fine with receiving a generator muffler for my birthday.  You should have seen me when I "opened" the generator.  I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face (not tears of sadness).  I think I even made a little speech. 

In the recent months God has shown me about perfect love.  That perfect love is not my love for someone or something.  It can't be.  I can't love enough on my own not to have fear or any other emotions.  These emotions are there.  We don't live in a vacuum.  What do I do when I feel forgiveness, fear, anger, disappointment, sadness, pain?  Do I dwell in them, let them sit there and make them ruin my day, my marriage, my life?  I have allowed those feelings to dictate to me long enough.  People will tell you just move on.  Right!!!  You do it!  See where that leads you.  Or this is a good one: Time will heal all wounds!  HA!  NOT!  Try it.  It doesn't hold.  For a time being you may be able to deal with the fear, the disappointment, the anger.  But after a while it does come back.  Then what?  I have found that if I choose to hold on to my "bad" feelings, well, you know what happens.  But if there is a problem and all of a sudden I don't let that feeling dictate my reaction, that is a different outcome.  If I have given my Lord permission to be Lord over my feeling, I soon have victory. 

The other day I was feeling very put out with one of my children.  Instead of dwelling on that feeling, and I was totally in the right believe you me, I turned to my Lord and asked Him to take that nasty feeling from me and replace it with His love for that child (OK, my kids are children anymore).  Do you know what happened?  That child (sorry) came to me and I think it recognized its mistake.  But rather than dwell on my hurt feelings, we were able to laugh and talk in a way that if I had held on to that feeling I would have been stewing in it for hours, making that child's life miserable.

Tom and I were having a conversation by our nice furnace to keep warm, and he said something that stung!  He was just pointing something out to me that really was minor, but I took it the wrong way.  But I realized the moment my hurt feelings started to surface that I had a choice.  I could be miserable all day, and blame Tom for hurting my feelings, or I could allow someone with much broader shoulders to carry my hurt.  I could release Tom from the responsibility of causing my hurt.  I could free him to be my husband, no matter what he said to me.  I was not going to let little words come between him and me!  You know what, we had a wonderful day!  I didn't hold on to my hurt, but let that perfect love, the love that gives (For God so loved the world He GAVE....).  We ought to do the same.  We ought to give.  That is setting me free and it is setting everyone in my family free too.


I would love to challenge you in this season of celebration and looking for the perfect day.  If you find yourself feeling a little unsatisfied with the rushing around and the preparation, your spouse who doesn't appreciate your efforts to make the season special, or doesn't appreciate you period; try this (and I mean it): talk to God about it.  And wait what will happen.  I can guarantee you an outcome better than the weathermen.  Your feeling of hurt, pain, justified forgiveness, whatever it was you were struggling with, will go away and will be replaced with a feeling of peace, if you are willing to let it go and give it to God.


He came to this earth, whether we believe it or not.  He still came and He also died, whether we believe it or not.  He didn't stay dead.... HE rose (whether we believe it or not)!  With that He made it so that I can now go to Him and cast (that means chose to let go) off my stuff that I am holding on to.  It means I can have a perfect day!  Yes, I can have it!  Finally it is possible.  It will cost me to decide to allow Him to take that stuff.  But I can have a perfect day through Christ, if I allow Him to lead me step by step, and guard my heart and give Him the feelings I know will cause me to separate myself from Him or from my fellow humans.




Chet is so comfi in his new bed!

Merry Christmas.  Think about why we have this wonderful season.  Take time and examine yourself and take me up on this challenge, if you would.  My family and I will be spending a perfect day with my sister, her husband, my parents and who know maybe a new niece (hopefully not yet, she is not due until the end of the month).  Have a perfect day.


 

The final product!