Friday, June 8, 2012

The waiting room

I recall when we lived in Dubai, my friend Sarah and I spent a lot of time at the skating rink.I would rush through the preliminary tedious actions like tying up the skates and would skip altogether the hair arrangements and make up phase.  I couldn't wait to get on the ice but I know that I hurt my friend's feelings because that was what she wanted to do.  My mind was on the goal: get on the ice!

The rink at Leisureland.
(I got this off Google images)
For the last year and a half my mind has been on the goal: build a house and move to VT.  What a sweet savor this has left in my heart.  After all, we are following where God is leading!  As you all know we made excellent progress through the year and we enjoyed it (Well, that is most of us and not all the time).  It was hard work but we were doing it for ourselves, not for a paycheck.

At this point you may surmise that not much has happened up there.  Our house in CT is still up for sale.  Tom is working for the Home Depot (I knew he spent too much time there before), Sean has a job at a stable and his truck is working, and the rest of us are doing what we are supposed to do.  We even had time to spend a month in Germany to help my mom while my dad was away.  (More about that later)

You can imagine how hard this has been for me, who jumps right to the finished product.  For months now I have been pleading, coercing, or begging God to get us up there and to sell this house.  But instead He provides for us right here where we are.  On the house front I get silence.  I don't do silence so good, if you can guess.  I had even come to doubt that we will move and that this is something God is giving us.  I know that God has brought us down this road for some reason.  Nothing we have done up there or here in CT has been a waste.

I was reading a few weeks ago why we get the silence from God.  It blew me away and I wasn't too excited about it at first.  God is asking me to trust Him with VT for His own timing, to see if I am willing to trust Him even if He doesn't shower me with answered prayers and blessings.  Woa, that's a tough one.  What do I expect from God? (How dare I expect anything from God other that what He has already given me: rest in Christ!)  I expect riches (of course), a fairly easy life (goes without saying), and blessing galore.  But He promises to lead us through our troubles and to provide what we need in food and raiment.  He also promises to never leave us or forsake us.  I love that.  That doesn't give me licence to go off the deep end but He does guide me in my darkness to the light, which is found in Christ.  Well, of course I expect the package deal: hardships, sure they come with the territory, but after a while I like to see the goal: blue skies.

The crux of the matter comes down to this: am I trusting God whether he has decided to send me north or not?  My answer is: Yes, THY will be done,and not mine!  But sometimes it is a struggle, one that I have to work out with Him by my side.  God brought me back to the calling of Abram.  Years ago, about 10 years, friends of mine gave me an Oswald Chambers Devotional Bible.  It wasn't my tome to read it back then, even tough I tried.  It didn't make any sense to me.  Now it does!  Abram followed the call of God.  He didn't follow his emotions or circumstances.  A wise friend once asked whether God had called us to VT.  Of course He had.  The circumstances were right.  I didn't quite see the difference.  Now I do!  I have been called several times by God to do something.  There was no mistake about the call.  One call was to home school, then to let my hubby go to Iraq. and then to go to Germany to minister to my mom.  In each circumstance he made the way and paved it pretty good.  It was not easy but the way was there. 

I still WANT to go to Vt and I know that God has given us the desire of our heart to build something on our own.  With this silence from God I am being taught to exercise my faith, in that I know and believe that whatever His plan is for us up there or in CT is it going to be all right and He will lead me through it.  I have to remind myself that I am His servant, and not the other way around.  God promised Abram to make him a great nation.  Come on, the guy was already 75 years old and his wife was pretty much up there in age too.  I looked at the genealogy of Abram and found it very interesting that, where the generations after the fall lived less and less long.  His father didn't beget Abram until he was 70 years old, which is pretty old.  So really not having a kid at 75 wasn't that bad but still, he had to wait.  He was in the waiting room.

As I read the story I weep at their "mistake".  Was it a mistake?  No, because through Ishmael a great nation was born, no mistake there.  God just doesn't make mistakes!  I am confident that in His silence on this matter of moving and finishing the house, my trust in Him is being expanded.  I am expectant of how God is going to lead me through this one.

In the meantime His promises come through loud and clear!  Tom has a job, which he loves.  You should see him.  He is like a little boy in an adventure playground!  When he walks into Home Depot he changes and almost gets giddy.  I can't describe it.  It is pretty funny to watch.

Look at the size of that jump! (from google again)

No thank you!
 As I said earlier we spent a month in Germany.  God came with us.  I  told that to a friend of mine and she asked if He liked it.  He blessed us and guided us and changed us just a tad bit more.  It was a humbling and wonderful thing to take care of my mother, even though it was not easy at times.  We were able to visit friends and family a little bit, which was just great.  I got to ride a really cool horse (at least 16.3 hands) and didn't fall off.  Then we got to go and watch the famous Hamburg Jumping Derby, which was really great.  The kids and I were able to go on bike rides.  But for me the highlight was to make my mother laugh and to engage her with us.  We were able to play a few old (I mean really, really, really old) board games.  My mother joined in them and that was quite a lot of fun.


I love this scripture "As for me and my house we will follow the Lord".  I know it is overused but it really redirects me when the going gets a little tough.  Another one that is just great is this one: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." That hope is not earthly gains, riches, easy life, health beyond measure.  It is hope in Christ-faith!  I'm all in for that.  For now I think I see a magazine here in the waiting room. I am going to read it.  Where is the adventure in that?!

I wish you a blessed week.  Enjoy the video by Chris Tomlin.

 

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